Opinion Sur Joven

On one side, we have Michael Jackson, Gary Glitter, Woody Allen… All these artists have been accused of child abuse. On the other side, we have Virginia Woolf, Britney Spears, Oprah Winfrey… They were all victims of sexual abuse during childhood.

This thorny topic appears through show business or crime news, producing confusion and astonishment in most of us. It has become more frequent since the 1970s. However, since it’s a delicate issue, the information available isn’t always trustworthy. How many times have those famous people’s names been used to make jokes about the crime they supposedly committed or suffered? Many times the topic isn’t treated seriously or the character is idolized, leaving other essential aspects aside.

A case representing thousands of cases

Malena has lived in an orphanage for three years. She was separated from her parents because authorities suspected her father sexually abused of her. We were surprised to find that Malena, despite being just nine years old, was excessively effusive with her male caregivers; she would hug them and kiss them. She would also rub herself against adults’ legs. She used to comment her genitals tasted delicious and would ask to be caressed in her private parts.

Malena wets herself four times a week and has repeated her grade twice. She has trouble to create new bonds. She has a kleptomaniac behavior: she steals things even if she doesn’t need them, and she loses or gives them away shortly after. When Malena talks about her problem, she shows no feelings; she seems to be talking about something that happened to someone else or that she saw in a movie. She usually assures that people stare at her and say bad things about her. Some nights, in the dark, she feels a man is hiding to stare at her. Anyone who knows Malena can’t help but feel deep sadness for her and deep hate for her father.

Defining the indefinable

As a first reference, let’s analyze the definition of sexual abuse by the RAE (Royal Academy of the Spanish Language). “A crime that consists in performing offensive actions against a person’s sexual freedom without violence or intimidation and without consent”.

This definition is rather tricky, since sexual abuse of children many times implies intimidation in the form of threats. Furthermore, since the adult is positioned in an asymmetric place, intimidation is present as well.

Many authors explain that sexually abusing a child doesn’t necessarily imply sexual intercourse, whether consented or not. In most cases, the abuse consists in sexual approaches occurring repeatedly and intentionally. The abuser doesn’t necessarily use physical strength: generally, the abuse is based on a relationship of power maintained upon the victim.

Beware of strangers, or beware of family and friends?

We often see at our offices that parents are afraid of leaving their children alone with the professionals they’ve resorted to themselves. The Argentine society seems to fear sexual abuse of their children by professionals due to some well-known recent cases.

However, studies conducted in Argentina and the rest of the world indicate that most abuse cases occur within the family. The most common one occurs between fathers and daughters. Statistically, those cases are followed by abuse by uncles, cousins, neighbors, teachers and so on. Strangers appear at the end of the list, unlike what most people think.

“A shot to the psyche”

Sexual abuse is considered to be the worst type of child abuse. It carries the worst consequences, especially when the abuser is a relative or, even worse, a parental figure.

Irene Intebi, a doctor specialized in child abuse, considers it “a shot to the psyche” of a child. Another author, Leonard Shengold, describes it as a “soul murder”.

As a children grow up, their psyches develop and get ready to understand certain things. Having to deal with situations they’re not ready for may be traumatic for them.

A frequent mechanism people resort to when going through a traumatic situation consists in separating the actual facts from the feelings these facts generate. This assures a defense against very painful situations.

But this mechanism may produce serious splits in personality. So it might result in personality disorders along with a possible damage of potentialities. Abused children may show deficient school performance, enuresis, encopresis, depression, difficulty to relate to other people, mood changes, recurrent crying, sadness or hyperactivity. In adulthood, they may experience sexuality disorders: frigidity, promiscuity, high probability of alcohol and drug use, high probability of suffering mental disorders, etcetera.

Family first?

Many people believe this type of crime occurs in low-class families only. It is true that most abuse cases have been detected in families of low social-economic levels. But the fact that fewer cases are detected in middle or high-class families does not necessarily imply that they don’t exist. When analyzing the situation, we should have in mind that detecting this type of abuse more frequently within a poorer sector of the population is mostly due the fact that community interventions make them more visible.

We should take into account that sexual abuse occurs in families with serious relationship disorders. These disorders are transmitted from one generation to another. This cycle could be interrupted by resorting to professionals qualified to treat said relationships.

What happens when children tell us they’ve been possibly abused?

It is hard to listen to a child who is going through a sexual abuse situation. Many times we tend to suppose they are making it up, or that we misunderstood what they said. It is also known that they can lie from an early age and can be influenced by adults to describe situations that never occurred.

Undoubtedly, discovering that a child has been abused is a circumstance we never plan to go deal with. But we must not ignore it or avoid it. It is important to know that what we do, no matter what, will have important consequences on that little person’s life.

We should never ignore a suspicion. Buenos Aires has a Minor Protection system where claims can be filed. Police stations can file them as well. And it is important to seek help from physicians and psychologists specialized in this area.

Child abuse is more frequent than we think in every social class. It bears serious psychological effects on abused children.

This is a very thorny topic, and we -as adults- find it hard to understand and handle. But we should pay attention, because we could prevent these crimes, or at least collaborate with other professionals to bring the abusers to justice.

Given their anatomical and physical growth, children should never be considered adults in sexual terms. Sexual abuse leaves permanent scars in the people who suffer it, so it is necessary to approach this issue with the seriousness it deserves, no jokes involved. Not even when the alleged abusers are celebrities.

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